You are currently browsing the monthly archive for September 2011.

If you are an avid reader, you know my word for this year is secure. As the new year arrived, I welcomed security into my life. I said goodbye to my insecurities, or so I thought.

See, it wasn’t as easy as I thought it was going to be. It’s not like I could take all my insecurities, all the things I don’t feel good enough to do, and shove them in a box, tape it up, mark it “INSECURITIES- DO NOT OPEN” with a big, black marker, and hide it away in storage. No, unfortunately my insecurities are in a wide open box inside my mind. And often certain ones fall out of that box and seem to grow legs. Then they run around my mind, haunting it like white-sheeted ghosts at Halloween.

Now I know I am not the only one with little wicked ghosts running around in my head. I think I would be safe to say, anyone reading this has insecurities they have to deal with. None of us feel good enough all the time. Often, that ghost doesn’t just tell us we’re not good enough, he also tells us we’re the only ones not good enough. Well, I’m here to say that ghost is a LIAR!

Because 1) you aren’t the only one not good enough, and 2) a certain someone has made you good enough. Now wait, you say, those two things are contradictory. Yes, I know but let me explain.

First, none of us is good enough. Nobody is best at everything. I can hear you now, well so-and-so is. Every time I see her she looks beautiful, her children are so well behaved, she makes the best food, she always wins every game we play, she has the perfect marriage, perfect body, perfect home and family….. the list goes on and on. But I promise you her life is not perfect. Maybe you need to get to know her a little better, because I can guarantee her life is no where near perfect and just like you she has ghosts in her head telling her she needs to try and be perfect.

We all run around trying to be perfect- for what? Because we feel we need to earn love? Earn our husband/boyfriend’s love? Earn respect of our friends and relatives? Earn the love of God? We are trying to prove to that little ghost that we can be enough in every aspect for everyone else. That brings me to point #2.

No, we aren’t good enough or worthy. But nothing we can do will make us good enough. You’re thinking, okay, why am I reading this then? There’s no hope, what’s the point? Aha! But there is hope! Someone else has made us worthy. Someone else has made us good enough! We have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all. (Hebrews 10:10) God already made us holy and good enough by giving us Jesus. When Christ died on the cross, he was making us righteous and worthy- every single one of us. That means we don’t have to sacrifice anymore. We don’t have to constantly strive to be enough. We don’t have to try and be perfect. For by one sacrifice He has made perfect forever those who are being made holy. (Hebrews 10:14) Through one ultimate sacrifice of the body of a man named Jesus, we have been made perfect. And not just for awhile, that verse said FOREVER. We never have to worry about not being good enough. It just said we have been made perfect forever. Wow.

You say, but I make so many mistakes. God knows we make mistakes, He created us didn’t He? That’s the whole reason He gave us Jesus, because He knew without Him we would never be worthy. God couldn’t stand the thought of spending eternity without all the ones He loves so much. Because of the one sacrifice of Jesus, our mistakes are forgiven. Jesus said, “Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more.” (Hebrews 10:17) Once we realize our mistakes and ask God to forgive us, bam! Just like that God forgives us and remembers those mistakes no more. We are the ones who take those mistakes and turn ourselves into failures, claiming we must somehow earn God’s love. But God doesn’t even remember those mistakes anymore. He doesn’t want us to keep sacrificing and trying to earn His forgiveness and love. And where these have been forgiven, sacrifice for sin is no longer necessary. (Hebrews 10:18)

So every time one of those ghosts climbs out that box in your mind to haunt you, remind him of the sacrifice already paid for you. Tell him he’s right- you weren’t good enough, but now you are. Tell him that you don’t need to earn God’s love because He gives it freely. Tell him thanks to Jesus, you are righteous, holy, good enough, worthy and perfect- forever. Then shove him back in that box and close it.

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This past weekend the temperature outside was hot, and my house was even hotter. I had all the fans on while I wore shorts and a T-shirt.

Just a day later, the temperature outside was chilly, and my house was cold. I had turned the fans off and the heater on. I changed into my sweatpants and long-sleeved shirt, and I put long, fuzzy socks on my feet. I decided to bake cookies just so I could stand by the warm oven.

The temperatures have changed because the season is changing. Summer seems to have ended, and that means my favorite season has arrived. The official day isn’t until Sept. 23, but fall is slowly phasing in. The wind seems to be bringing changes. We can see the transitions taking place before our eyes.

I noticed yesterday the sun seemed to be setting earlier than normal. Goodbye summer, I thought. It was a little sad.

Summer is a great season, full of fun. But it was also exciting to say goodbye to summer because it meant saying hello to autumn.

I love the cool weather because it means getting to wear all my favorite clothes: Jeans, boots, sweatshirts, scarves and jackets.

It means I get to fill my belly with deliciousness: Soup, chicken and noodles, warm apple cider, pumpkin pie, pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, hot chocolate, roasted marshmallows, pumpkin pie and best of all everything that comes with Thanksgiving Day.

The season of fall means my favorite sport is all around: Football, particularly the Colts.

It means fun activities: Hayrides, carving pumpkins, corn mazes, four-wheeling and bonfires.

Fall also means beauty: The way the leaves change from bright green to red, yellow and orange, eventually falling all around, waiting to be raked into piles for jumping.

As much as I enjoyed summer, I am looking forward to the winds of change bringing in the next season.

So… hello fall, it’s nice to see you again.

School has begun — from my little cousin entering kindergarten to my best friend starting classes for her last semester of college. I began school when I was just a 4-year-old playing with Barbie’s. I entered preschool in Bowling Green with my grandparents as my teachers. All the other kids called them Mr. Paul and Mrs. Ann, but I stuck to Grandpa and Grandma.

Soon, I was graduating kindergarten from Mrs. Wey’s class at Clay City Elementary. The next thing I knew, I was moving into the high school building as a skinny, frizzy-haired seventh-grader.

After growing out of my awkward years, I got involved in theatre and participated in the school plays every spring. I spent my evenings doing homework and chatting on AIM.

Then it happened. I graduated high school. No more packing my lunch box or turning my locker combination. No more track meets or basketball games.

But I wasn’t done with homework or classes. I wasn’t done eating my lunch with friends. Because I entered college and became a Raven. I grew independent, working on managing my time and getting part-time jobs. I wrote 25-page papers and met with a tutor every week for my math class. I doodled in lectures and laughed with my fellow COMM majors. I decorated my apartment with my best friends and cheered on school buses at the Anderson Speedway.

Then, before I really had time to process it, winter turned into spring, and I walked across a stage and shook some hands. And it was over. Not just college, but my entire schooling.

From ages 4-22, all I’d known was homework and classrooms. School was my life. Occupation: student.

Now, August is ending and for the first time since I can remember I’m not going back to school. I’m not sitting in a classroom with my peers and listening to someone talk. I’m not taking notes or coming home to sit down and do homework. I no longer live with my best friends.

The beginning of my life is over. But the memories are not.

I will never forget when Mrs. Kirchner turned our classroom into an airplane on “Reading for Riley” day in the third-grade. I will never forget how it poured down rain on the hayride during my sixth-grade campout at McCormick’s Creek.

I will never forget walking into homeroom in the seventh-grade to learn our country was under attack or when I found out I would never see Kodi Pipes at another YFC event. I’ll never forget making videos for FCCLA promotions with my best friends or having sleepovers to stay up late and talk about boys.

I’ll never forget sitting at my first football game with new friends or changing my major to journalism. I won’t forget the late night talks or the student-led worship services.

I won’t forget being a camp counselor. I could never forget the day I mourned over Alex Fulk’s death. I won’t forget finding a home church at East Side Church of God and enjoying the college meals every other Sunday.

I can’t forget the people who started as friends and became my family.

School might be over for me, but the moments that meant the most during those days of my life will live on forever in my heart because they made me the adult I am today.

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